Its Hard To Forget
by TrappedInYoMind4eva
Summary: After the fiasco of Raincoats and Recipes, Rory is on the run from her problems, trying to solve and forget them at the same time. What happens when she encounters a complication from her past that's the last thing she needs...or so she thinks?


**Title: Its Hard to Forget**

**Author:** TrappedinYoMind4eva a.k.a. refa

**Disclaimer:** characters not mine, plot sort of is.

**Pairings: **starts out slow but will definitely be a trory

**Rating:** PG-13

**Summary: **After the fiasco of _Raincoats and Recipes_, Rory is on the run from her problems, trying to solve and forget them at the same time. What happens when she encounters a complication from her past that's the last thing she needs...or so she thinks?  
  
**Shout out to my way kool friend nabz, aka odette!!!**Chapter One: Running From Myself 

It was a Monday.

For some reason, Rory always hated Mondays.

Maybe it was unfair of her to be so biased, but as cliché as it sounded, Mondays were pure bad luck.

But then, right now, her life was not at its happiest streak.

Tears fell from her eyes.

Rory grimaced as she drank the poor excuse of coffee she had found at the store and sighed. _Why do I always run away when something happens unexpectedly?_

It wasn't her fault. Was she always supposed to be perfect, to never do something impulsive in her life? Always be the perfect daughter who had perfect dreams and a perfect life? Perfect. She was beginning to hate that word.

Unbidden, a thought flashed in her mind. _I'm so disappointed in you. I didn't raise you to sleep with another woman's husband._

Maybe not so perfect after all.

Tears fell from her eyes.

She was stupid. So, so stupid.

_He's married, you imbecile. Crying won't change that._

She told that voice to shut up. It was summer, and she had all the time in the world.

All the time to run as far as she could. All the time to cope and come to an understanding with herself. If only those damned memories would go away...

...........................**._Flashback_............................**

"Rory?" Lorelai's voice broke through her thoughts, through that void that she had let take over her mind. "Do you feel like talking?"

"Sure, Mom." Her mother looked so worried, and so disappointed. _It's not fair. _

Lorelai opened her mouth, then closed it, seeming unable to say anything. Finally she settled herself beside Rory, where she was leaning against the bed, hugging a stuffed animal. For a moment, Lorelai thought she was staring at her sixteen-year-old self. _No, _Lorelai thought, _she's not that screwed up. _

"What are you going to do?" Lorelai wished she didn't sound so uncharacteristically strict, but it was hard not to blame Rory.

Rory stared back at her mother, not knowing the bitter thoughts that were running through her head. Finally, Rory understood exactly why she was so disappointed. _She's frightened. She thinks I'm going to run away from our dreams. _

Lorelai looked at Rory. She looked lost, her eyes filled with tears she would not let fall as she stared deep into space. "What did Dean say when you guys talked a little while ago?"

Rory just stared into space, one tear running down her face. Lorelai sighed and reached over to give her a huge hug, her heart nearly breaking at the way Rory trembled in her arms. She was sure Dean had told Rory something to make her like this. And whatever it was, Lorelai would find it out and make her baby's life happy again.

They sat there for a long time, until Rory felt better. "I'll get you some coffee, and then we can watch Brad Pitt movies all day." Rory gave her a small smile and watched as she walked away.

..............................**._End Flashback_.....................................**

Rory sighed as she stared at the happy scene in the middle of New York before her. Central Park was a nice place, and it helped her keep unwanted thoughts from her head most of the time, even on Mondays. The coffee might taste bad, some of the people might be way to perky for seven a.m. in the morning, and there might be some overly-hyper screaming kids running around, but despite all that it was okay. No one seemed to pay attention to a girl who was staring wistfully into her coffee and crying, which made her feel happy too.

It helped Rory forget and move on, which is what the whole point of coming there had been, she reminded herself. Feeling sort of homesick, Rory took out her cell and started dialing Lorelai's number. She needed to talk to her mother, who could still cheer her up no matter what. Unbidden, her thoughts flashed to what had led her to come to New York, of all places...

.................................**..Begin Flashback....................................**

Rory sat at Luke's, drinking coffee and staring into space while her mother and Luke alternately argued, flirted, or did both at once. She hadn't seen Dean in a week. It was funny how that night was now like the biggest event of her life. Two weeks since the biggest mistake in her life. Two weeks since she'd found out that having your heart broken over and over by the same person didn't make it any less painful, just more unbearable. Two weeks since her actions had abandoned the morals she had followed all her life.

It was weird though. Rory didn't feel any different. In fact, she avoided thinking about that night altogether. She'd avoided Dean ever since she heard that he had gotten a new job in Hartford, which seemed to solve all the problems between him and Lindsay. Rory had even heard a rumor that Lindsay was pregnant, which made her flinch whenever she heard it.

Thank god she wasn't pregnant. If she had been, Rory seriously didn't know what she would have done. But still, life went on as usual. Lorelai and Rory were still as close as ever. Stars Hollow was still the same quirky place as ever. No one besides her seemed to feel any different. However, Rory still had more than two months left 'til she had to return to Yale.

"Roreeeeeee," Lorelai screamed, bringing Rory out of her reverie. "Do you know what blasphemy this plaid-wearing-man-who-makes-my-life-blood is saying? It is so horrible that I don't know if I should subject your young ears to it, but –"

"But of course you're going to anyway,"grumbled Luke, causing Lorelai to pout and give him a dirty look.

"He is denying me coffee!" Lorelai screamed, her hand over her heart and the most melodramatic expression ever on her face. "Such cruelty is the equivalent of Dracula, of the scary thing in Harry Potter, of the oompa loompas when they sing their scary songs, of—"

Rory cut her off with a grin and said, "But, mom, we love the oompa loompas remember?" as Luke groaned loudly and went to get Lorelai some coffee, which he ungraciously slammed down in front of her, all the while muttering about how it would kill them both, how they needed help, etc.,etc.

"Thanks, Luke," Lorelai said brightly. "I can't believe I actually had to resort to screaming today, you really managed to make me desperate." Luke gritted his teeth and stalked off to get a burger for Kirk, who had just walked in.

Seeing the way Luke was looking at Kirk as he complained about how his burger should be, Lorelai whispered to Rory and they quickly left, just as Luke and Kirk started to throw things.

Rory smiled as they left, but deep down felt as if something was out of place and that she needed to fix it before it got out of control.

...................................................

That afternoon, Rory left for Hartford without telling Lorelai, who she knew would press her til she found out exactly why Rory was willingly going to her grandmother's house. The reason was quite simple really. There was no Paris or Lane for her to talk to, as both were currently somewhere with their families on vacation, and Lorelai would start freaking out if she even mentioned wanting to go away somewhere for the summer. She guessed that left only her grandmother, who sometimes gave out good advice and who might actually be able to help her. She wasn't going to tell Emily everything anyway, so it didn't really matter.

Her grandmother's new maid that week, Ellie, looked surprised when she opened the door but motioned for her to come in anyway. Her grandmother had been sitting in her elegant living room, talking to someone on the phone when Rory walked in.

Emily smiled and quickly finished her conversation as Rory sat down beside her. She had really been hoping to see more of her over the summer, but the last two weeks had only seen Rory at dinner on Fridays.

"Well, Rory dear, this is a pleasant surprise. I'm really glad you stopped by, because I've been wanting to ask you about this function at Hartford and whether—"

"Grandma," Rory said. Her grandmother stopped and stared closely at Rory, then opened her mouth again and was cut off.

Rory didn't know later what made her spill everything bubbling inside her to her grandmother, of all people. She was the woman who had made her mother's life hell, who only cared mostly about her social image, who was always just too concerned with propriety.

But there she sat, telling Emily about everything, about Dean, about Jess saying he loved her and leaving her, about her heart breaking over and over again, about how coolly Dean had ignored her and told her that he and Lindsay were after all okay with each other, about how the last two weeks she had felt out of place, how she seemed to want to cry at the most odd moments.

The torrent of sadness inside Rory spilled forth. A part of her felt horrified at how she was telling her grandmother all of her secrets, but another part felt relieved. Surprisingly, Emily listened calmly to her words, handed her a tissue when she started crying, and hugged her warmly when she finished.

The two sat quietly for awhile. Emily staring at her granddaughter, who was all grown up, and Rory taking comfort from her embrace. Finally Emily broke the silence.

"Rory, dear, I can't say that I approve a bit of what you've done, but I think you should realize that this may not be a mistake in every way."

Surprised, Rory sat up. "How can it not be?" Her voice sounded bitter even to her own ears.

"You're not a little girl anymore, Rory. You need to get away from this Dean. He was your first boyfriend, first kiss, was he not? You need to stop dreaming that he has to be your first everything. You also need to get away from this Jess boy. He is simply not good for you." Emily's voice was deliberately emphatic, and everything she said practical.

"I seem to need to get away from a lot of things," Rory muttered softly.

"It's a good thing that no one besides you two and Lorelai know about this. I'll tell your grandfather that you are interested in having a change of scene this summer, and I'm sure he will arrange something to your liking that will take you far enough from this Dean."

Rory smiled and nodded. "Thank you, grandma. This means a lot to me."

"If you want, we can talk to Richard about it at dinner. There's no need to say anything to Lorelai until it's all settled. Otherwise there's no doubt she'll find a way to make you stay."

Rory heard the unspoken invitation and smiled again. "Of course I'll stay to dinner. Let me go call mom and tell her where I am."

..........................................

"Mom."

"Rory, I can't believe this. What are you thinking, letting your grandmother arrange your life like this?! Are you crazy? This is summer!! Remember summer, Rory? The time when you have fun and drink coffee all day and don't think about school or work and stuff—" Lorelai waved her arms around crazily, standing in the middle of her driveway as she took in Rory's new car, which had been bought by Richard for her use during the summer.

"Mom, I'm serious, Grandma means well, if you could just understa---"

Lorelai cut her off angrily again. "Understand what, Rory? That you're just going to ditch me during the summer and go take up some freak journalist job in New York? If you want to work, why the hell New York? I'm sure I could have found you something just as good."

Rory sighed, her mother was really boiling. "Look, mom, I'm sorry I'm telling you this now and everything but seriously, its not such a big----"

"Come on, babe, I so don't buy this crap. My until now perfect-daughter-who-happens-to-be-my- best-friend is not standing in front of my house with a brand new Lexus at ten o'clock at night telling me that she's going to drive to New York where she's going to assist some scary journalist her grandparents know and stay in some stupid apartment by herself for the rest of her summer when she could spend it in her favorite place on Earth!" Lorelai stopped, nearly choking as she gasped for breath, but her anger coming through very obviously.

"It always has to be about you, mom, doesn't it?? Have you ever thought maybe this place is freakin me out right now? That maybe I want to go somewhere where the guy I slept with can't break my heart every time I see him walking around with his wife?!!!" Rory couldn't help it, all the anger and pain inside her was at last venting itself out.

Lorelai's face softened and became sympathetic at once. "Oh my god, sweetie, I had no idea. Why didn't you just tell me and---"

"And what, mom? Watch as you go and confront Dean and kill him? Have you feel bad and try to set me up with a bunch of guys all summer? And yeah, it'd probably be just my luck to have Jess show up out of nowhere too, just to make things worse. I mean—"

"Rory," Lorelai cut her off abruptly. "Get in the car."

"W-what?" Was Lorelai going to give in this easily?

"I understand, Rory, even if I don't like it. I'll probably come up there to visit you in a week or two, so don't think you're getting rid of me or anything." Lorelai smiled slightly and Rory relaxed, and they both hugged each other.

Rory got in the car, which was one thing she couldn't be grateful enough to Richard for, and hung out the window talking to Lorelai. She felt excited, nervous, and very relieved. Her spirits began to soar all of a sudden, as she looked out towards the road. God, she was going to be all by herself now. No grandparents, no Lorelai, no Paris or Lane or Luke, no Dean or Jess. It wasn't exactly a frightening thought, just sort of daunting and...

"Rory, snap out of it, your not with all the hot gangsta guys in nyc yet," Lorelai said, exasperatedly. Rory smiled.

"Your just jealous because I'm going to be able to go see Broadway plays."

"Puh-lease. Those things make Barney look dramatic."

"Did I mention that there's a Starbucks at the corner of my street in upper Manhattan?"

"Oh my god!! That's it. Get your cute little butt out of that car right now and let me in. Rory?! Stop driving! The coffee goddess commands you to stop!! Stop laughing at me! I'm telling you, there is no way you can have unlimited amounts of coffee from Starbucks this summer if I can't!! Rory!!"

"Bye, mom! I'll give you a call tomorrow morning!"

Rory smiled as she drove away, glancing in the rearview mirror and watching as her mother screamed obscenities at a tree as she stomped towards Luke's. Lorelai would be all right in the end and get over her sudden departure, Rory knew. She just wasn't so sure what was going to happen to her.

.................................**.End Flashback..................................**

**A/N: hey everybody this is my first trory so please tell me whether I should continue and plz plz review!!!!! ï ï ï ï **


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